NEWTON, KS
A peculiar glitch in the space time continuum has forced the Warkentins of Newton, Kansas to live the year 2020 over and over again for the rest of eternity.
“The first couple weeks of the year were all good, but then all of the sudden things got bad, real bad,” said Sarah Warkentin. “Plus, Trump was still President. That was weird. I mean, I voted for him, so I didn’t mind, but it was, just, weird…”
The Warkentins will be forced to live 2020 over and over again until they learn the true meaning of their existence or something like that.
“You’d think they’d let us at least pick a year,” said Peter Warkentin. “1996 was pretty good. Got an N64. And that Fugees album? Just incredible.”
But it was not to be. Instead, the Warkentins will have to relive 2020 over and over again.
“Plus, we have to stay within twenty feet of the Mennonite Settler Statue,” said Warkentin. “I just hope we have our profound existential revelation right and quick so we can both move on to 2021.”
Little did the Warkentins know that 2021 was actually worse, much worse, than 2020.