GULF OF MEXICO, MEXICO
Americans were outraged this week after it was announced that their beloved Gulf of Mexico was going to have a name change just to appease some liberal snowflakes in Washington.
“It’s been called that for 500 years and they’ve never had a problem with it,” said Red Peters of Seminole, Texas. “Now suddenly there’s something wrong with the name? I’m sick of this woke bullshit. Something has to change!”
Peters can’t figure out what is so offensive about the name Gulf of Mexico that it had to be cancelled.
“Typical out-of-touch Washington bureaucrats. Taking down statues. Changing names of bodies of water,” said Peters. “First it was Duck Dynasty, and now the Gulf of Mexico? Not on my watch!”
Outraged at the thought of a traditional name changing with just the stroke of a pen, Peters and friends stormed the nation’s capital to express their disgust.
“Oh, so you get triggered by the site of the Gulf of Mexico? Who cares! Facts don’t care about your feelings,” yelled Peters. “I don’t care what you call it; it will always be Gulf of Mexico to me!”
