ALTONA, MB
Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table.
“I should have nipped it in the bud as soon as Henry brought up Justin Trudeau,” said Mrs. Friesen. “I thought it was harmless, but pretty soon Peter was screaming and my brother Bob socked Henry in the jaw. Even Doris got involved! There were broken plates, broken bones; it was absolute madness!”
It soon became clear that the Friesens differed tremendously on matters of politics and this, apparently, meant they couldn’t enjoy a nice pleasant meal together.
“Green Party? Are you kidding me!” screamed a shirtless Henry, smearing stuffing onto Peter’s face. “The next thing you know he’ll be voting NDP!”
All major parties had at least some support among those Friesens present, including, surprisingly the Bloc Quebecois.
“I had no idea there was such diversity of opinions among the Friesens,” said Bob. “It’s really bad for family morale. We can’t even enjoy turkey and a football game anymore. I think it’s much better if we just go back to the days when the Mennonite church forbade anyone from voting. At least back then you could finish your cranberry sauce in peace!”
This is not the first time that politics has spoiled a Friesen gathering. During election ’88, the Friesen brothers, who were big Mulroney supporters, roughed up their cousin Darryl after it was uncovered that he planned to cast his vote for John Turner.
“I should have known better than to allow them to discuss politics,” said Mrs. Friesen. “From now on, I’m going to make sure they stick to football…or the weather.”
The evidence would suggest, however, that you’re just as likely to get a knee to the groin discussing football as you are discussing politics.