MARCHAND, MB
After a slow summer last year with less than twenty concussions and two fatalities, the number of horseshoes-related injuries has soared to record heights in Manitoba this spring. If the pace continues, it will prove to be the worst horseshoes season on record with more than 750 head injuries.
“We’ve got nurses working overtime to cover all the patients coming in here with dented skulls,” said a Bethesda Hospital rep. “We’ve really gotta educate people on how to get a ringer without taking out a cousin.”
After more than three billion dollars in property damage last summer, insurance companies across Manitoba are united in their refusal to pay for damage caused by errant horseshoes throws.
“If we covered horseshoe damage, we’d be broke,” said insurance rep Donna S. “After last summer, we simply can’t afford to cover horseshoes. Play horseshoes at your own risk.”
Manitoba government safety ambassador Matt Richards, formerly mandolin player for the Crash Test Dummies, warns people to take precautions when playing horseshoes.
“You don’t want to end up like Mr. Friesen here,” said Richards, showing a picture of an elderly man with a horseshoe embedded in his forehead. “The doctors can’t remove it, so he’s got to live with it. Please, people, whatever game you play, play safe. That’s especially true for horseshoes!”
(photo credit: Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources/CC/modified)