“Immodest” Mennonite Woman Leaves Her Zwieback Out for All to See

OSTERWICK, MB

Residents of Osterwick were in shock this afternoon after a fresh and delectable zwieback baked by Mrs. Loewen was left out on the table in the church basement all afternoon.

“It’s simply not done! Not in Osterwick!” exclaimed Mrs. Dueck. “You don’t display your zwieback like that for all to see! My Henry nearly fainted at the sight of Mrs. Loewen’s zwieback.”

While Mrs. Loewen’s zwieback are said to be the best in Osterwick no one dared touch them and the buns just sat there generating gossip.

“That Mrs. Loewen’s got to cover up her zwieback!” said Mrs. Dueck. “Someone needs to speak with her!”

Mrs. Dueck said her Henry needs to keep his eyes on her zwieback alone, but it’s hard to do when Mrs. Loewen’s zwieback are so perfectly formed and soft to the touch.

“I’m going to take this up with the elders! We simply can’t have this kind of showiness during faspa!” said Mrs. Dueck. “It’s one thing to leave the dills out all afternoon, but zwieback? Well I never!”

After an impromptu elder meeting, it was decided that Mrs. Loewen would only be allowed to bring her zwieback to faspa if they were sealed up tight in a margarine container.

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