KLEEFELD, MB
As temperatures soared well above 30 Celsius this afternoon, local farmer Darryl Wiens, 37, set aside his principles and cracked open a Bud Light of all things.
“This goes against everything I stand for,” said Wiens, “but I’m darn thirsty and it’s the only thing around.”
Wiens, however, was careful not to be seen drinking Bud Light lest he face the wrath of his neighbours.
“It’s a risk, for sure, but it’s a risk I’m going to have to take,” said Wiens. “I’m not sure what they’ll think of me if they see me with this Bud Light can.”
Wiens briefly considered pouring it into a thermos, but eventually decided to live a little.
“Their binoculars aren’t as powerful as they think anyway,” said Wiens, standing in the middle of his silage crop. “I doubt they can even see my Bud Light from this distance.”
Wiens says he knows his stance on Bud Light is not popular, but wanted to make sure he cleared up any confusion.
“Dylan Mulvaney? I’ve never even heard of her,” said Wiens. “No, my hesitation to drink Bud Light has nothing to do with that. I mean, do I really need to explain myself? Have you ever tasted the stuff? It’s disgusting.”
Wiens says he plans to go back to drinking actual good beer just as soon as this heat wave is over.
(photo credit: Michael Curi/CC)