EDMONTON, AB
Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has decided to set aside some time in his schedule to fill the vacant Sunday School coordinator job at the controversial GraceLife Church.
“We’ve got to get to them while they’re young,” said Kenney. “Otherwise they’ll all end up thinking they’re the Apostle Paul reincarnated or something.”
Kenney plans to totally reshape the curriculum so as to make sure future generations will follow provincial health orders to the tea.
“Stickers and smiley face stamps should do the trick,” said Kenney. “Plus, I’ve already got some catchy new Sunday School songs like ‘I’ve Got the Joy Joy Joy Joy Down in My Mask’ and ‘The V-A-C-C-I-N-E, yes that’s the thing for me!'”
While police action has failed to shut the church down, Kenney feels a re-education plan is the only thing left in his playbook.
“I’ve been working on my Sunday School skills,” said Kenney. “And, no, don’t worry, there are no dinosaurs on my Flannelgraph board.”
(photo credit: Policy Exchange/CC)