LOS ANGELES, CA
According to sources, a group of angry Mennonites from Fresno tossed an ice cream pail full of white cream gravy known as “schmaunt fat” on TV star Jennifer Aniston.
“It was totally unexpected,” said Aniston, cleaning off the delicious schmaunt fat with a towel. “Those Toewses sure caught me off guard.”
It’s not known what the Toewses of Fresno were protesting or why they targeted Aniston in particular.
“I must say it was the most delicious protest I’ve ever encountered,” said Aniston. “I’m just disappointed they didn’t toss some vereniki at me while they were at it.”
Some have wondered whether the whole thing was just a publicity stunt.
“Big Schmaunt Fat will stop at nothing to promote their product,” said observer Noam Broesky. “Like they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.”
Protestors are planning to toss other Mennonite liquids such as waffle sauce, golden syrup, and the sweat of dairy farmers at celebrities throughout the month of August.
(photo credit: Ben Sutherland/CC)