ST. LOUIS, MO
It’s long been known that professional athletes are highly susceptible to distractions while on the road. There’s no better example of this than the poor performance of the Winnipeg Jets, who are just not used to all the sights and sounds of St. Louis, Missouri, population 301,578.
“And that’s just the city proper,” said Jets captain Adam Lowry. “There’s just so much to distract you when you arrive in a booming metropolis like St. Louis.”
Among the distractions for Jets players were a zoo, botanical garden, and even a large arch.
“Yeah, this city is pretty wild,” said Lowry. “It’s no wonder we played so poorly.”
Several players also apparently visited the local library rather than attending practice on the afternoon of the game.
“Yeah, and there’s a riverboat cruise to the place Mark Twain grew up,” said Lowry. “Let me tell you, it’s hard to stay focused in a city like this.”
Despite these obstacles, the Jets are planning to really pull up their socks for the next game and ignore the wide array of strip malls that St. Louis has to offer.
