HOUSTON, TX
Hardcore Osteen-devotees have taken to Instagram to share a tried-and-true solution to make sure they don’t miss even a second of the service at Lakewood Church. Their solution? Adult diapers.
“I may get a rash, but it’s worth it not to miss any words of wisdom from Pastor Joel,” said 27-year-old Osteen superfan Brittney Falk. “It took me six months and $3000 to get tickets to this service, and I’m not going to let that got to waste because of a little diarrhea.”
The Osteen diaper trend has become so popular that resourceful young entrepreneurs are even selling Osteen-branded undergarments in the church parking lot.
“Going in to hear Osteen? Give yourself a bit of extra protection!” shouted diaper-vendor Tim Schulz. “Get your diapers right here. Get them while they’re hot!”
Others were selling air sickness bags, which were also selling like hotcakes.
“Always gotta be prepared,” said Falk. “You never know what you’re gonna need at Lakewood Church.”
Osteen reportedly preached a sermon on Isaiah 46:4 (“I will sustain you and I will rescue you”) which he interpreted to mean that folks should have a little faith and that true believers don’t really need diapers.
(photo credit: cliff1066/CC)