TORONTO, ON
Tired of the “woke” swimsuit editions coming from the mainstream media, anti-PC crusader Jordan Peterson is set to release ’12 Rules for Life: Swimsuit Edition’ specifically for an audience that “appreciates good old-fashioned wholesome bikini photos.”
“I’ll be personally vetting all the photos,” said Peterson. “Every model in there is going to be at least a 9 out of 10 on my scale. And no more woke liberal models. It’ll be nothing but skinny Photoshopped women wearing hardly anything at all. The sort of sexy photos even your grandparents can appreciate.”
The book already has significant support among Peterson’s followers, who were “horrified” by the “authoritarian” photos recently featured in Sports Illustrated and long for sexy swimsuit photos that reflect their family values.
“It’s time us Christian men had some sexy photos we can ogle completely guilt free,” said Mr. Martens. “And who better to provide them for us than an agnostic libertarian academic?”
’12 Rules for Life: Swimsuit Edition’ already has significant interest in pre-sales, though it’s not known when Peterson will have time to pose for all the photos.
(photo credit: Gage Skidmore/CC)