VAUGHAN, ON
Of all the changes made to the KFC menu in recent weeks, by far the most significant was their new ‘Bring Your Own Bacon’ policy.
“If you want to have a good proper Double Down, all we ask if you bring your own bacon,” said KFC Canada director Colonel Siemens. “We figure bacon isn’t really necessary anymore, since most people have some in the glove box anyway.”
The move is said to replicate McDonald’s policy of not providing ketchup in the drive-thru.
“We’re taking away everything you love about this place,” said Colonel Siemens. “Next on the chopping block is gravy. Oh, and then chicken itself.”
KFC Canada is also asking Mennonite customers to bring their own farmer sausage.
“Way ahead of you,” said Colin Berg of Mitchell, Manitoba. “What, you think I leave the house without a ring of sausage?”
Pop-up bacon stand are already opening up in parking lots outside KFC locations across Canada.