WATERLOO-KITCHENER, ON
Tired of always taking a backseat to neighbouring city Kitchener, residents of Waterloo have successfully petitioned the Ontario government to change the name of the metro area from Kitchener-Waterloo to Waterloo-Kitchener.
“All those Mennonites in Kitchener think that just because K comes before W in the alphabet, that they’re so much better than us Waterluvians,” said Waterloo resident Martha Brandt. “I’m glad that Premier Wynne saw things our way for once.”
Left out of the conversation completely was the city of Cambridge, which, in recent years, has wedged itself in the middle of the name.
“We’ve always been the third wheel,” said Cambridge resident Adam Peters. “I tell you, we’re not going to take this Waterloo coup d’etat lying down. I’ve been talking to some of my friends in Kitchener and we’re going to fight back!”
Some more pacifist-minded folks in the area have suggested a ten-year rotation, whereby each city would have the spotlight as the first name listed.
“Either that or we could just combine the three cities and create some kind of hybrid name – like maybe Watcamkitch, Kitchenwater, Mennotopia or something like that,” said Peters. “A new wind is blowing in Southern Ontario…and I, for one, will not be gone with the wind.”
(photo credit: by haljackey/CC)