Liquor Stores Flooded with Mennonites Pretending Not to Buy Beer for the Lake this Weekend

STEINBACH, MB

There were long lineups at liquor stores across the province this afternoon as Mennonites definitely did not stock up on their beer supply for the weekend.

“Just here to pick up a bag of chips,” said Mr. Kroeker. “They sell that here, right?”

Meanwhile Mrs. Doerksen just stopped by for a bit of wine that she assures reporters will definitely be only used in cooking.

“I’m going to cook off all the alcohol,” said Doerksen. “And there’s no way I’m having a glass or two while the dish is in the oven.”

Mennonites are also claiming they’re going to be in church on Sunday morning despite the fact it’s a long weekend.

“I think they’ve got a church there in Falcon Lake, don’t they?” said Mrs. Loewen, still in line but not purchasing any booze at the LC. “I’m sure pastor Dave won’t mind if we take in the service at the lake this year.”

Manitoba liquor stores reported a record $63 million in sales this afternoon, all of it in coming from purchases of snacks, napkins, cube trays, and other accessories.

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