WINNIPEG, MB
Winnipegers were given a rare opportunity to “meet a real live Mennonite” at a local Indigo store this past week.
“I’m very excited. It’s not every day I get to meet a real Mennonite,” said Mrs. Johnson of Winnipeg. “I’m going to be sure to ask him everything he knows about hymn singing and hog butchering.”
“Real Mennonite” Andrew Unger of Steinbach sat for two hours on Saturday afternoon and regaled visitors with tales of life in the strange exotic land known as “thirty minutes south of Winnipeg.”
“You’ll never believe it, but we don’t even have a Burger King yet,” explained Unger to a gasping audience. “And we only got a Starbucks, like, last year. Steinbach truly is another world.”
Even a few city Mennonites from North Kildonan came out to get a glimpse of Unger for themselves.
“I haven’t left the Perimeter since moving to Winnipeg in the late 70s,” said Mrs. Loewen. “I’m glad to see there still are some real authentic Mennonites out there.”
Meanwhile, a committee of concerned Steinbachers met in secret on the weekend to determine whether Unger really does qualify as a real Mennonite anymore.