MITCHELL, MB
A local residential construction crew set a new Manitoba record this past week by lasting a full twenty minutes in between obscene, vulgar, or otherwise tasteless remarks. Between 10:03, when Darryl recounted in great detail a fictitious sexual encounter he supposedly had the night before, and 10:23 when Steve commented, yet again, about his foot fetish, not a single obscene comment was uttered.
“We have this chalkboard set up,” explained foreman Pete. “You know, like ‘3 Weeks Accident-Free’ – that sort of thing. Well, according to the chalkboard we hadn’t lasted more than 45 seconds without a tasteless remark.”
For a full twenty minutes, the conversation revolved around opera, CBC radio, and there was a delightful back-and-forth about the work of Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
“I’ve worked construction my entire life and I’ve never heard anything like it,” said Pete. “For once in my life I could go back home to my wife and not not blush with embarrassment about the conversation that day.”
The change in tone seemed to be initiated by a new young schekbenjel who had been hired on for the summer.
“He’s an SBC student I think. He really doesn’t know all the construction crew banter yet, but he’ll learn,” said Pete. “Either that or he’ll have us all talking about the New Testament on lunch breaks…but I doubt it.”
News of the 20 minutes of polite conversation reached across the country and all the way to the office of Prime Minister who said he was “shocked at the thought of it” and invited the men to Parliament Hill where they could easily relearn a few obscenities.
(photo credit: photocapy/CC)