Local Man Turns 40, or 65 in ‘Mennonite Years’

STEINBACH, MB

Local man Andy Unrau turned 40 this weekend, though he was not nearly as eager to celebrate the occasion as one might expect.

“If you do the math, that’s 65 in Mennonite years,” said Unrau. “Diewel, I’m getting old.”

Unrau and his wife Jessica, who he now calls Martha, have recently sold their bungalow on Barkman Avenue and moved into a 55-plus condo, which they were eligible for since they could prove they were Mennonite and therefore actually well into their 60s.

“I’ve started eating sharp stinky cheese and wearing socks with sandals,” said Unrau. “Oba, I’ve even signed up for the stick curling league this year!”

Unrau says the math is very simple. You simply multiple your age by 1.5 and then add on five years to make sure you don’t get too proud.

“It’s not quite as bad as dog years, but it’s pretty close,” said Unrau, who now speaks fluent Plautdietsch. “The best thing about it is getting all the seniors discounts!”

Unrau and his wife Martha celebrated the birthday by sharing a piece of toast at the local Smitty’s and not tipping.

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