CALGARY, AB
Jeffrey Froese, 31, manager at a local Office Depot, plans to spend an intimate evening alone tonight watching videos by controversial right-wing political pundit Ben Shapiro. This is basically what Froese does every evening, but for Valentine’s Day he plans to make it special.
“I’m going to open up a box of dark chocolate, crack open some wine, and settle in for a romantic evening with my Ben,” said Froese. “He talks so fast and uses such big words….he’s just soooooo dreamy.”
Froese is especially enamoured with Shapiro’s takedowns of left-wing snowflakes on college campuses.
“I can’t get enough of those videos,” said Froese. “Tonight, when I get home from work, I plan to drown my sorrows in Baby Duck and videos where Ben Shapiro ‘owns’ or ‘triggers’ someone. It’s gonna be great.”
Ben Shapiro, on the other hand, plans to take a break tonight from making videos for lonely white males and, instead, intends to spend a romantic evening with his wife.
“I’ve gotta say, if you’re watching Ben Shapiro vs. Snowflake videos tonight, you need to get your priorities straight,” said Shapiro. “I mean, I am Ben Shapiro, and even I think that’s a little sad.”
Upon hearing Shapiro’s cutting words, Froese was immediately triggered and vowed to watch nothing but Cenk Uygur videos from now on.
(photo credit: Gage Skidmore/CC)