MAIN CENTRE, SK
Local Mennonite elder Leon Groening suddenly ceased his genealogy hobby on Friday after discovering a connection to cartoon imbecile Homer Simpson.
“I was on Grandma’s Window – you know the Mennonite genealogy website – when I discovered that Matt Groening, the guy who created the filthy television show The Simpsons in the late 1980s, is actually a relative of mine,” said Elder Leon. “I didn’t let my kids watch that show in the 90s and I’m going to make no effort to understand the intelligent satire behind it now!”
Cartoonist Matt Groening based the character of Homer Simpson on his own father Homer Groening, a Mennonite man from small town Saskatchewan.
“I can’t believe my great-great-uncle is Homer Simpson!” said the elder, before bowing in prayer to ask for forgiveness for finding such a relation. “Now I hear my grandchildren are watching the show. Deiwel! My daughter-in-law Katie just has absolutely no control over those kids!”
The 69-year-old Mennonite elder was also worried about how his reputation in the church would be affected if this information became public.
“I’m not sure I’d be allowed to continue with my job of folding the bulletins each Sunday,” explained Leon, “so I sure hope no one finds out I’m related to Homer. D’oh!”
(Photo credit: vagueonthehow/CC)