LONDON, ON
Area man Steve from London, Ontario has taken it upon himself to spout off his knowledge about Mennonites every chance he gets.
“Any post about Mennonites and I’m there commenting,” said Steve. “After all, I ran into a Mennonite family at a McDonald’s once in the 80s, so I know everything about them.”
According to Steve, after extensive research, which included staring at the family for a good five minutes, all Mennonites dress, act, and believe the same things.
“That’s one messed up sect, let me tell you,” said Steve. “They dress funny, smell funny, hate education, and their families are really dysfunctional. I know this because I used to live in an area where there were some, so you know, I’m an expert.”
Steve has recently applied to get an honorary Ph.D. in “Mennonite stuff” and hopes to begin lecturing at an offline university this fall.
“The course curriculum is basically a compilation of all my Facebook comments over the years,” said Steve. “The students sure are going to learn a lot.”
