FILADELFIA, PARAGUAY
Peter Thiessen, 21, has melted into a puddle of goo just moments after getting off the plane in Paraguay. Thiessen was a first time visitor to Paraguay where he intended to see his cousins in the Chaco.
“Ach, typical Canadian,” said Peter’s Paraguayan cousin Victor. “Anything over thirty degrees and they’re whining and begging to go back home yet!”
Despite the seeming tragedy, Victor was not too concerned about the current state of his melted cousin.
“We’re used to this kind of thing whenever the Canadians come to visit,” said Victor. “It’s no problem. There’s a trajchtmoaka on the colony who can get him back into shape in no time!”
Canadians are being warned never to expose themselves to temperatures above fifteen degrees celsius.
“That’s the max,” said Victor. “I’ve seen Mennos from Manitoba start melting at twenty degrees!”
After being molded into some semblance of his former self, Peter Thiessen took the next flight back home where he intended to walk around this November wearing nothing but cut-off jean shorts.
(photo credit: Chris Dlugosz/CC)