ANTIOCH, TN
Trying to win over legions of Dave Ramsey followers to the supposed benefits of quick and easy credit, Mastercard has just released a new card with Dave Ramsey’s face on it.
“It’s part of our new Financial AllStars collection,” said Mastercard spokesman Cash Fast. “We’ve also got Rachel Cruze, George Kamel and, exclusively for our Canadians customers – Gail Vaz-Oxlade. We’re hoping you’ll collect them all.”
The new cards offer a competitive 32% interest rate.
“We’re thinking this will be a very attractive card for a lot of people,” said Fast. “At least a lot of people here at Mastercard HQ.”
It’s not known whether Mastercard got permission before plastering Ramsey’s face on the card, but rumour has it the cards come with a hidden feature.
“It self-destructs the minute you put it into your pocket,” said one user. “I can’t figure it out. What’s the point of a credit card you can’t actually use?”
Early users have complained that the card does nothing but set their pants on fire.
(Dave Ramsey photo credit: Gage Skidmore/wikicommons)