KANSAS CITY, MO
Mrs. Janzen, delegate from Oregon Mennonite Church, was caught skipping the afternoon seminar this Wednesday to get ahead of the rush at Arthur Bryant’s.
“What do you expect?” said Janzen. “We don’t have barbecue like this back home in Oregon.”
Janzen’s order of burnt ends, pulled pork, coleslaw and a large Arthur’s fries, would have gone unnoticed except for the conspicuous stain on her blouse when she got back to the conference.
“After extensive lab testing, we’ve discovered that one of our attendees has not been entirely honest about their whereabouts this afternoon,” said MCUSA director Glen Guyton. “However, since we are Mennonites, we believe in peace and reconciliation with our dear sister Mrs. Janzen. There but for the grace of God go you or I … to Arthur Bryant’s in the middle of the afternoon.”
However, Mrs. Janzen’s rendezvous was not an isolated incident.
“I’m not the only one. I’ve heard rumours of conference attendees being spotted at the zoo, the jazz museum, even Kauffman stadium,” said Janzen. “This is what happens when you hold your Mennonite conference in the big city.”
Janzen received an official letter of forgiveness from Mennonite Church USA, although some say she still has to account for the fact she didn’t go to Joe’s Kansas City BBQ instead.
(photo credit: ctj71081/CC)
