ASHBURN, VA
Sick and tired of Trump’s persistent talk about banning immigrants and building walls, Mennonite infant Amber Hostetler, 8 months, took matters into her own hands on Tuesday by wailing at the top of her lungs throughout the GOP candidate’s speech.
“I had no idea Amber had such strong feelings about this election, but I guess she just discovered that supporting Trump was inconsistent with her understanding of Christian faith,” her mother Jennifer said. “I’m not sure, but I think she might be a Jill Stein supporter.”
As soon as Trump opened his mouth to discuss his foreign policy of killing entire families in other countries, Amber let out a cry that could be heard throughout the auditorium, and was quickly asked by the leader to be removed from the premises.
“You can get the Mennonite baby out of here,” Trump said, before adding: “We don’t need any pacifists in this building, least of all ones that aren’t even potty trained.”
Disgusted at the candidate’s response, Jennifer Hostetler texted all her friends to bring their babies to the rally, too.
“When my Mom’s group showed up, we had over fifty crying Mennonite babies, all with very dirty diapers,” explained Hostetler. “Needless to say, with the sound and the smell, Trump just couldn’t handle it and stepped off the stage. I think our protest was a great success.”
Hostetler says that the incident has really drawn her attention to the fact that American voters need to consider the world they’re leaving to their young people.
“I get why she was crying. Amber is part of the next generation who will have to live with Trump’s legacy,” said Hostetler, “so I think we need to take her voice seriously.”
Trump later said he was just joking about the whole thing and that he loves babies and Mennonites.
(Photo credit: by Gage Skidmore/CC)