HARRISONBURG, VA
Little Michael Burkholder begged Grandma and Grandpa to say the prayer before consuming the roast beef and horseradish this past Sunday. The 5-year-old was obliged in his request, although all the adults said his prayer “really didn’t count.”
“If you want to get roast beef ready for eating, you’ve gotta have a 60-year-old overly pious zealot to say the prayer,” said Mr. Burkholder. “The Lord doesn’t pay much attention to anyone under the age of 40.”
Michael’s prayer was dismissed as “cute” by the adults, but deemed insufficient to properly bless the food they were about to consume.
“Yeah, I get it, he’s a kid. But the Lord said all prayers must come from a mature adult. I think the scriptures say that somewhere, don’t they?” said Mr. Burkholder, before launching into a 20 minute prayer. “I’ve been praying for longer than Michael’s been alive! That should count for something.”
Michael asked the Lord to bless the food and give Mr. Burkholder good health in the coming year, although everyone present wished he hadn’t said that last bit.
