Mennonite Churches to Settle Decades-long Feud with Cornhole Tournament

GOSHEN, IN

Mennonites across Elkhart County have been honing their beanbag tossing skills this week in preparation for the Cornhole Tournament to End All Cornhole Tournaments to be held at First Goshen Mennonite Church. At stake is the very name of the church.

“They claim they opened up in 1851,” said Mrs. Yoder of Second Mennonite Church, “but our church records show we had our very first meeting in 1847.”

The winning cornholers will be given the exclusive right to call themselves the first Mennonites in town.

“And we thought, what better way of deciding the matter than by tossing beanbags at each other,” said Mrs. Stoltzfus. “That’s how it works, right? The rival churchgoers stand there while we toss a beanbag right in the kisser?”

Despite the slight misunderstanding on the rules of the game, the cornhole tournament will go on as planned.

“It’s not a very pacifist game as far as I can tell,” said Mrs. Stoltzfus, “but it’s better than the more violent alternative of Dutch Blitz.”

Little do these Gosheners know that their counterparts up in Canada have been settling disputes by playing a similar game with horseshoes for years.

(photo credit: k. steudel/CC)

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