FRESNO, CA
On Saturday night, the Toewses of Fresno sat in a dark theatre for 3.5 hours with no intermission or pee break, but could not handle Pastor Dave’s quick 20 minute sermon the next morning.
“Ugh, hurry up, get to the point,” said Brenda, 5 minutes into Pastor Dave’s sermon. “Another amusing anecdote? That’s it. We’re out of here. I hope we can still get a seat at PF Changs.”
Starting next Sunday, Pastor Dave will be painting himself blue and handing out 3-D glasses to each parishioner who shows up.
“Gotta do something to compete,” said Pastor Dave. “Gone are the days when a verse-by-verse exegesis of Matthew 5 is enough to keep people interested.”
The Toewses, who apparently just love sitting in movie theatres for 4 hours including the previews, having given the new Avatar movie two thumbs up. Meanwhile, Pastor Dave’s sermon currently has a score of just 5.3/10 on imDb.