LONDON, UK
After Harry and Meghan decided to call it quits on the royal family, a generous family of Mennonites from Holmes County have agreed to take their place at Buckingham Palace.
“As Anabaptists, we’re always willing to help out a family in need,” said Mrs. Miller. “I’m really looking forward to making quilts with Her Majesty.”
Officials at Buckingham Palace say the Miller family is set to arrive in London via the Trans-Atlantic ocean liner later this month.
“We figured a Mennonite family would be a good fit. Fewer scandals anyway,” explained a Royal Family spokesperson. “Plus those fifteen children of theirs will really increase the number of possible heirs to the throne. We’re hoping to fill all the rooms at Buckingham with little royal Millers.”
One possible hiccup in the plan is the fact the royals apparently cannot tell the difference between Amish and Mennonites, a mistake that may cost them dearly.
“They’re Amish? Well, that’s no good. I hear they’re as averse to having their pictures taken as Harry and Meghan were,” said one royal watcher. “I’m not sure how the Miller’s will handle the paparazzi.”
British press have already promised to keep at least three metres way from the Miller’s royal buggy.
(photo credit: R. Miller/CC)
