HOLLYWOOD, CA
Producers of the highly-anticipated Mennonite funeral thriller The Burial have opted to stretch the truth a little and remove all references to pickles and/or raisin buns from the movie.
“Oba, a movie about the Loewen Funeral Group and we don’t even get any sugar cubes dipped in coffee or cheese curds or anything,” said disappointed moviegoer Earl Bergmann. “I guess that’s Hollywood for you. Always pandering to the pickle-hating masses.”
The film, which documents the downfall of Steinbach-raised funeral tycoon Ray Loewen, shockingly makes not a single mention of German hymns or taking family photos with the casket.
“And where was the freiwilliges?” wondered Bergmann. “This movie isn’t realistic at all.”
Instead of damp Kleine Gemeinde church basements on the Canadian prairies, the film’s producers chose to set the movie in a Mississippi courtroom and Ray Loewen’s luxury yacht.
“Dietschlaunt, I’ve never seen a Loewen on a boat like that,” said Bergmann. “As far as I know all the Loewens arrived at the forks of the Rat and Red on a river boat.”
Bergmann and his wife Carol gave the film “two big thumbs down” although they have not yet made their opinions known to the public as that would out them as movie-watchers.