LEAMINGTON, ON
Local woman Annie Loewen, 73, was arrested yesterday at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart after turning over a particularly provocative cover of Vogue magazine that she found offensive.
“We’ve had this problem ever since we opened this store,” said store manager Jessica Thiessen. “I’m glad we’ve finally caught the lady who’s been turning around these covers. It’s really annoying.”
In her defence, Mrs. Loewen explained that just no one should have to look at such images in the checkout lane.
“When I was a girl, I didn’t pose in my underwear on the cover of magazines,” said Mrs. Loewen. “So, I certainly don’t see why anyone would need to do that now.”
Mrs. Loewen confesses to having turned over hundreds of magazines in stores throughout Leamington during the past few decades.
“My rule of thumb is: if I see a shoulder, I turn it over,” said Mrs. Loewen. “I also make sure to comment to waitresses around town if I think they’re showing off too much leg.”
Loewen was forcibly removed from the store, but not before desperately reaching with her one loose arm and succesfully turning over a copy of Cosmopolitan.
“Ach, these covers are just disgusting,” said Loewen. “At least the back cover is just a cigarette ad or something.”
