KITCHENER, ON
Abe Eby of Kitchener, Ontario says it’s all just a misunderstanding. Witnesses say that this Sunday, during a particularly stirring sermon about tithing, Mr. Eby was seen “flipping the bird” at Pastor David.
“He denies it, but I know what I saw,” said Mrs. Martin. “I don’t blame him–that sermon was pretty awful–but we all have to show some restraint.”
In his defence, Mr. Eby says he’s got nothing against Pastor David and claims he was just scratching his face.
“Can’t a man get an itch once in a while?” said Eby. “My skin gets so dry in November.”
The incident has divided the congregation, though some are waiting for more evidence.
“Too bad we don’t have any video footage,” said Mrs. Martin. “Well, of course not, we’re Mennonites.”
To avoid any episodes like this in the future, the Third Kitchener Extra-Mennonite Church has hired CPAC to broadcast all its services from now on. Television ratings for the new broadcast have already surpassed CPAC’s regular programming.