ATLANTA, GA
Joseph Bergman, 44, was arrested in Atlanta, Georgia this week after being spotted with a can of Pepsi-Cola.
“This is Coca-Cola territory,” said officer Schmidt. “Everyone knows that. We simply can’t have people waltzing down Peachtree Street drinking a rival brand of high fructose corn syrup.”
In his defence, Bergmann said he was from out of town and didn’t know how things work around here.
“That’s what they all say,” said Officer Schmidt. “Ignorance of the law is no excuse.”
Rumours have spread that Bergmann may actually be a Yankee trying to stir things up in the south, though Bergmann claims this is not true.
“It’s true. I am from the north,” said Bergmann, “but a bit further north than you’re probably thinking. I’m from Winkler, Manitoba … in Canada. Up there we all drink Papsi all the time.”
Following a thorough investigation, Bergmann was released after he was able to prove that Papsi and Pepsi are actually two totally different beverages.