TOFIELD, AB
Area man Todd Sawatzky has lost the respect of everyone in all of Tofield this week after he piled his plate with bread and butter pickles instead of the good ones.
“Waut de kuckuck! Did you see that Sawatzky and his sweet pickles?” said Mrs. Dueck to Mr. Thiessen. “If he thinks he can live in this community and consume inferior pickles, he’s got another thing coming!”
Faspa attendees were apparently given a choice of sweet pickles vs. good proper pickles, but the whole thing was a sting operation by the local MC Women’s Auxiliary.
“I feel like I was entrapped by the kitchen ladies,” said Sawatzky. “If we really weren’t supposed to choose the sweet ones, they shouldn’t have been on the table.”
Sawatzky and his entire sweet pickle-eating family have been asked to leave town by sundown.
“Looks like I’ve worn out my welcome in this town,” said Sawatzky. “I’ve packed my bags and we’ll be heading out on the midnight train to Edmonton.”
Before leaving Tofield, Sawatzky will have his luggage searched to make sure he’s not stealing any good pickles. A strip search will also be conducted by Pastor Dave who says he’ll also be looking for contraband dills.