MISHAWAKA, IN
Local man Andreas Miller, 51, was spotted on social media in the background of a photo taken at the local Hooters restaurant. The photo was immediately brought to the attention of the pastor, who demanded an explanation.
“Just because I’m on the elder board, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the hospitality and cuisine at Hooters,” said Miller in his defence. “There’s nothing in the Bible that forbids the consumption of chicken wings.”
Miller claimed that Hooters was a family restaurant and just because it’s mostly full of pervy middle-aged men doesn’t mean his presence there should be viewed with suspicion.
“Sometimes I go there after work to catch up on my devotions and have a few hot wings,” said Miller. “In all the Scriptures, Old and New, there’s not one single mention of Hooters. Not even once!”
Miller’s wife Beatrice said she had suspected Andreas was sneaking a few chicken wings on the side.
“He hasn’t been asking for seconds lately,” said Mrs. Miller. “And he’s really skimping on dessert.”
Still, Mr. Miller insisted his Hooters visits are on the up-and-up and, after an impassioned speech, managed to convince the elder board to hold their meetings at Hooters from now on.
(photo credit: Wufoo Team/CC)