KITCHENER, ON
Mr. Noah Eby of Kitchener had to quickly change the channel and pretend to be watching politicians yell at each other, after his wife Mary walked in on him during the pair skating short program this afternoon.
“What on earth are you watching, Noah!” shouted Mary. “I thought this was a godly home!”
Henry claimed he’d been watching Question Period the whole time, but his wife would have none of it.
“I can recognize Gilles and Poirier from a mile away,” said Mary. “That man’s not fooling anybody. No wonder he wanted to rent that television set this winter.”
As a result of the disturbing discovery, the Ebys will be entering into marital counselling with Pastor John this week.
“Usually the problem is much deeper than figure skating,” said Pastor John. “I’ve seen many marriages breakup over this, but an admiration for Katlyn Osmond or Keegan Messing is really just the tip of the iceberg.”
Noah Eby said he would refrain from watching any more figure skating as long as Mary also promised to stop watching The Bachelor.