LANCASTER, PA
After years of smugly pointing out the sins of others in the church lobby and in local coffee shops, self-proclaimed near-sinless holy man Mr. Zook of Lancaster has finally discovered something to truly be ‘holier than thou’ about.
“I went to knock the dirt off my rubber boots and what did I discover? The terrible condition of my socks!” proclaimed Mr. Zook. “I guess I’d been paying so much attention to the condition of other people’s soles that I had no time to look deeply at my own!”
After sitting aghast at the condition of his own sole for nearly an hour, Mr. Zook broke down in tears.
“Forgive me. Forgive me. Just look at the hideous shape my sole is in,” said Mr. Zook, who had never felt this level of remorse before in his entire life. “I am so ashamed!”
Mr. Zook hid his sole back in his rubber boot and is hoping that his Agnes can stitch it back up again.
“I guess I truly am the hole-iest man in Lancaster County,” said Mr. Zook. “I just hope they’ll let me back into the meetinghouse this Sunday.”
Luckily for Mr. Zook, he received more than twenty pairs of socks this past Christmas from generous relatives.