VANAPAG, MB
Local man Glen Loeppky, 64, has just announced he is running for mayor of Vanapag and, if he can get everyone at the Portage Avenue Church to vote for him, believes he has a good chance of vinning.
“As mayor I plan to really change the city yet once,” said Loeppky. “First thing on my agenda is to give horse and buggy access across the Esplanade Riel. Then I’ll make sure to reduce the prices of Rogers Golden syrup during Jets games.”
Loeppky has been knocking on doors all across North Kildonan and in and around the CMU campus.
“Plus I spent all Saturday evening knacking zoat at the Grove,” said Loeppky. “Gotta connect with the young hip crowd, you know.”
Loeppky says he will be the “bast mayor Vanapag’s ever had” and promises to move Kern Hill Furniture back to Main Street.
“There are going to be some real changes around here if I’m elected,” said Loeppky. “We’re even shutting down Portage and Main one weekend every year for a city-wide hymn sing.”
If elected Loeppky will be the first openly Mennonite mayor of any major North American city.