Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale

LEAMINGTON, ON

After a hard day’s work on the tomato farm, local man Joseph Kroeker, 21, sat down for a nice relaxing ale this evening, only to discover his choice of beverage was not nearly as potent as he was hoping.

Diewel, I’ve drank half a case of these ginger ales and I feel exactly the same as when I started,” said Kroeker. “Well, I guess maybe another six cans or so should do it.”

Kroeker and his would-be romantic partner Tina were pounding back Canada Drys all evening and nuscht.

“I don’t know what Pastor Dave was talking about in his sermon last week,” said Kroeker. “This stuff doesn’t do anything for me.”

After an entire evening of Canada Drys, Tina said she was tired to waiting for the ginger ale to kick in and was going home.

“Joseph doesn’t look anymore handsome to me at midnight than he did at six o’clock,” said Tina, “so forget it.”

Kroeker dismissed the criticism and said that was just “the ginger ale talking.” After an unsuccessful weekend of ginger ale drinking, the young couple plan to give up on Canada Dry and try out A&W root beer next week.

(photo credit: lovely lemur/CC)

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