MITCHELL, MB
Local man Earl Fehr, 48, was sorting through the laundry the other day and found himself the perfect item to protect himself during his visits to the grocery store to buy toilet paper and cheese curds.
“I’m sure Nettie won’t mind if I wear one of her düaks,” said Fehr. “It’s a little stuffy, but it smells like Heaven. The perfect combination of Head and Shoulders, brow sweat, and a little bit of Tide.”
Fehr wore the new “face mask” all over town, including a stop to pick up some beef jerky.
“Which is where I was arrested,” said Fehr. “I think they thought I was trying to rob the place.”
Fehr was released later in the afternoon, though the düak was kept as evidence.
“I had to go right back home and grab another headscarf from the hamper,” said Fehr. “I just don’t feel right about going outside without one.”
Fehr says his wife Nettie is now wearing two headscarves and a memo was just sent out from the church elders requiring all Mennonites to wear headscarves, “just a bit lower down.”