Mennonite Men Clamour to Buy Discount Flowers Two Days After Valentine’s Day

ABBOTSFORD, BC

Romantic Mennonite men across the Fraser Valley flocked to the mall this afternoon to get their hands on cheap flowers and discount chocolates.

“Ahh, honey, you shouldn’t have!” said Mrs. Enns, giving her husband a wet smooch. “You never forget Two Days After Valentine’s Day!”

Mr. Enns felt really proud of himself for getting such a good deal on some near dead flowers that he was certain his Martha would spruce up.

“She’s got a green thumb,” said Mr. Enns. “I’m certain she’ll get these discount flowers looking nice and chipper in no time.”

Mr. Enns was particularly relieved that he got to the florist early in the morning before the other men from his church went to do their post-Valentine’s Day shopping.

“I knew they’d be having coffee at Ricky’s until at least 10 o’clock,” said Mr. Enns. “It was the perfect opportunity to snatch up a good bargain and pick out the least dead of all the nearly dead flowers on display.”

By noon the lineup outside the Abbotsford florist shop was around the block.

“Two days after Valentine’s Day is our busiest day of the year,” said flower shop owner Mrs. Pankratz. “These Mennonite men sure know how to spoil a woman.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Plett of Chilliwack is biding his time in anticipation of the Four Days After Valentine’s Day sale. 

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