ROSENORT, MB
Rev. Diedrich Bergmann of Rosenort had to search the bowels of his filing cabinet to locate his classic 1965 sermon against listening to rock music and the Beatles in particular.
“I heard they had a new song,” said Bergmann, sweat pouring from his brow. “I didn’t think I’d have to preach against the Beatles again, but it’s a good thing I have all my old classics.”
Bergmann keeps a record of all his old sermons, complete with notes on the audience reaction.
“We had the teens burning their records back then,” said Bergmann, “and I am certain that after my sermon this Sunday we’ll have boomers doing the same.”
According to Bergmann there are plenty of verses forbidding believers from listening to rock music, especially wild and crazy bands like the Beatles. When asked, however, he couldn’t find a single one.
“It’s gotta be in here somewhere,” said Bergmann, turning to his secretary of 60 years. “Lois, where is my Unger’s Bible Dictionary and Concordance? This Beatles stuff has got to be in there somewhere.”
Parishioners say they had no need to hear Bergmann’s sermon as they were all planning to burn their Beatles records anyway after hearing the new song.