KITCHENER, ON
Despite being less than five minutes into his Sunday morning sermon, Pastor Barry was pulled from the service and replaced with a left-handed pastor.
“I can’t figure out why Elder Schneider came to the pulpit so early in the sermon,” said Mr. Schmidt. “Barry only pitched 47 or 48 ideas on how to live a better Christian life by then. The man was still fresh.”
Schmidt says he remembers the days when they used to let pastors go 100 pitches or more.
“Sermons used to be 50 or 60 minutes long,” said Schmidt. “Analytics are ruining the Sunday morning service.”
In an unusual display of emotion, Mennonite parishioners gave Pastor Barry a standing ovation followed by an altar call as he exited the sanctuary.
“He preached well,” said Schmidt. “There was nothing wrong with his sermons. A couple missed verses here and there, but he could have gone on a lot longer.”
With the church season ending early this year, most Mennonites have decided to switch the Lutherans until next season.