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Mennonite Pastor Schedules Mandatory Church Meeting During Game 7

EDMONTON, AB

Pastor John of the North Edmonton Mennonite made sure to schedule a important mandatory Bruderhof meeting for Monday evening as soon as he found out the Oilers had made it to game 7.

“If they can force a Game 7, then I can force a 7 hour meeting,” said Pastor John. “We’ll see who shows up. It’ll really separate the wheat from the chaff.”

Attendees will be asked to shut off their phones and instead focus on important church matters that can only be settled this Monday evening exactly while the game is on.

“To be fair,” said Pastor John, “if the Elks ever make to the Grey Cup again, I’ll be sure to schedule a church meeting then, too.”

Pastor John says his scheduling strategy really shows who’s committed to the faith and who just shows up on Sundays for the free coffee.

“I’m not sure why they’re playing hockey games on Mondays anyway,” said John. “Don’t they know that’s the day after the Lord’s Day?”

Seeing as the event is only a Bruderhof meeting, many of the women in the congregation plan to watch the game, even if their husbands can’t make it. When Pastor John caught wind of this, however, he issued a decree requiring the church women to wait patiently in their cars until the Bruderhof meeting is over, which he expects to be about 15 minutes after the 3rd period has ended.

(Photo credit: Laurel L. Russwurm/CC/modified)

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