LINDEN, AB
Pastor David, whose name was recently pulled from the hat this past week, has threatened to enact a whopping 25% tithe starting his first day in office this January.
“No more of this ten percent nonsense,” said Pastor David. “The church can hardly pay my salary with those kind of donations. Heck, I hear the Ungers aren’t even tithing that.”
Pastor David plans to open up the books at the next membership meeting and publicly report how much each family is tithing.
“And anyone less than 25% is not going to be allowed in the building,” said Pastor David. “We have standards around here.”
Several parishioners were in favour of the idea, while others wondered how the money would be used.
“I’m not sure how I’m going to benefit from that,” said Anne Wiens. “As far as I can tell, all that’s going happen is a huge surge in the cost of communion juice.”
Pastor David initially had some folks on board with his plan, though he lost a few supporters when he announced this 25% had to be paid on your gross salary not just the take-home pay.