GOERTZEN CITY
In the dark bowels of Goertzen City lurks an evil presence named The Spotter. Thankfully for the residents of Goertzen City there is one man who can stop The Spotter and his name is Barkman!
“Nah junges, Barkman, did you see that!” said Barkman’s sidekick Robin Kornelsen. “Quick! To the Barkmanmobile!”
The duo rushed over to their 1987 Ford Aerostar and raced to the scene of the crime, where they found a case of Miller High Life marked “Free” on the MB pastor’s front steps.
“Well, Robin Kornelsen, this looks like the work of The Spotter, yet. Diewel, that man is annoying!” said Barkman. “Quick, let’s take this free Miller High Life before Reverend Lehman comes home and finds himself in a real perplexing quandary.”
Barkman and Robin Kornelsen rushed away with the beer, while “Do do do do do do do do, Do do do do do do do do, Barkman!” could be heard in the background.
Goertzenites have yet to discover the true identity of Barkman and can’t even find him in the Barkman Book.
“I have my suspicions,” said Mayor Flaxseed. “I’ve never seen Barkman and Bruce Warkentin in the same room at the same time.”
Despite persistent rumours to the contrary, Barkman and Robin Kornelsen have a completely platonic relationship and live together in their underground lair made of sod at the MHV.
