WINNIPEG, MB
After just way too many incidents in recent years, Central Kildonan Mennonite Fellowship has decided the only solution is to hand out empty paper bags to all the kids this Christmas.
“We wanted to keep the tute tradition alive,” said Mrs. Martens, “but with all the allergies out there, we couldn’t figure out what to put in there. As far as I know, no one’s allergic to a brown paper bag.”
The Central Kildonan Ladies Tute Ministry lovingly wrote each child’s name on their own empty paper bag, which the kids will pick up after the Christmas Eve service.
“I just know little Emily’s going to love this empty paper bag,” said Mrs. Martens. “When I was a child, I dreamed of owning an empty paper bag like this.
Once word got out about the amazing new Christmas treat, the Central Kildonan kids lined up after the service in eager anticipation of their empty paper bags.
“There’s a lot you can do with a brown paper bag,” said Emily. “Make a puppet out of it, write a Christmas list on it, store your old bologna sandwiches from school. Anything!”
In other news a massive mound of peanut shells were discovered in Pastor Dave’s office later in the week.