LANCASTER, PA
Unbeknownst to attendees at a mid-week chuch potluck this evening, Mrs. Stoltzfus modified a centuries old pie recipe in order to celebrate the opening of the impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump.
“I had some mint leftover anyway,” said Stoltzfus. “I’m not sure it goes together with peach all that well, but today I’m so excited I really don’t care.”
The peach mint pie was eagerly gobbled up by local church members, none of whom actually understood the symbolic significance of this peculiar treat.
“It was an odd combination,” said Mrs. Buckwalter, “but I think it works. I wouldn’t add so much mint, myself, but I may try out my own version of peach mint pie sometime in the future. Maybe for Thanksgiving.”
After Mrs. Stoltzfus explained the meaning of her pie, however, many pie-eaters were deeply offended.
“Pies and politics should not mix,” said Mr. Weber. “It’s really too bad. I’m just here to eat pie. I really hate it when pie-makers mix in politics. If you ask me, they should just stick to pie making. It ruins the fun when they bring politics into it!”
Mrs. Stotlfuz, who always cares so tremendously about what others think, was deeply troubled by the poor reception her pie received and dropped to her knees to beg their forgiveness. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she vowed absolutely never to sprinkle politics into her pies ever again.
