ALTONA, MB
Children across Altona were coming home with handfuls of yerba mate last night after Mrs. Kroeker ran out of Halloween candy and decided to make do with what she had around the house.
“It’s very concerning,” said Constable Kliewer of the Pembina Valley Vice Squad. “It’s all fine and good to help out the community, but handing out South American herbal tea without even a gourd or bombilla? Oba nay!”
Mrs. Kroeker was brought into custody after little Timmy Wiebe dumped a whole plastic jack-o’-lantern full of yerba tea onto the kitchen table.
“Oba, Timmy, where on earth did you get this high quality Parajito?” wondered Mrs. Wiebe. “You weren’t trick or treating at Mrs. Kroeker’s house were you?”
Even more concerning for local authorities were the brightly coloured yerba-flavoured Nerds candy being handed out at some households.
“Not to mention the tiny jars of strawberry jam,” said Mrs. Wiebe. “Some of them weren’t even labeled with a canning date or anything!”
Local police are also investigating the use of non-New Bothwell cheese curds at faspa this past Sunday.