ST. VITAL, MB
Area woman Jessica Epp of Altona decided she’d just rush into the city to pick up a few things at Costco after church this Sunday. Little did she know that the church elder board was ready and waiting to catch her in action.
“We hid in our vehicles until she came back out with her purchases,” said elder Toews. “We had to be sure she wasn’t just going in to look around. Once we saw her load up that crate of jumbo-sized Corn Flakes into her minivan, we knew we had her.”
The elder board has been suspicious of Epp ever since she began to cut short her fellowship time in the church lobby sometime this spring.
“She used to stay around and gossip just like everyone else, but lately she’s been rounding up her family and is out the door by quarter after twelve,” said Toews. “That’s when we began to suspect she was Sunday shopping.”
The elder board has also been monitoring the Internet activity of all the church members to make sure they’re not on eBay or Amazon on Sundays.
“Checking out sexy pictures of Jennifer Lawrence is allowed,” said Toews, “but you better not be buying anything. It’s the Lord’s Day after all.”
(photo credit: by sivart13/CC)