HILLSBORO, KS
Mrs. Jost, 51, was sick and tired of this “one chocolate a day” rule and decided to open all the boxes still left in her annual advent calendar and wolf down all the chocolates during her half-hour lunch break this morning.
“I just couldn’t take it anymore! One tiny chocolate every day!” exclaimed Jost. “Surely, they couldn’t expect us to exercise that level of self control. Not for a whole month! Never!”
The women in Mrs. Jost’s quilting circle, however, were unimpressed when they heard the news.
“Aula’haund! That woman needs to get herself together!” exclaimed Mrs. Pankratz. “The next thing you know she’ll be cracking out the halva two weeks early!”
Despite the admonition of the quilting circle, Mrs. Jost was unrepentant.
“What a bunch of hypocrites,” said Mrs. Jost. “At least I’m out in the open about my advent calendar cheating. The rest of those women just cut the bottom of the box, slide out the tray, eat all the chocolates, and open a door each day just for show!”
Mrs. Pankratz would not admit to using this method, but a careful inspection of her advent calendar found it was significantly underweight.
(photo credit: thekirbster/CC)